Gawdzilla?!

It's not unusual for Japan to be attacked by giant monsters....in the media of course. And over there years the star monster that has been seen trampling around the cities of Japan is none other than the king monster Godzilla. Now I bet lot's of people are wondering what the heck got me to bring this topic up. Well just a few days back I was sitting in front of the television 'channel surfing' when a certain Japanese movie caught my attention... 'GODZILLA FINAL WARS'. Oh yeah I can feel my childhood memories flooding back into my mind! (That's bad because at the same time all them physics info got kicked out in the process. @_@ ) . Anyways instead of flipping the channel I decided to watch the movie and wonder how much did the giant radioactive iguana changed over the years.

OH GAWD....

First off after watching half an hour of the show I realized that what I was watching wasn't Godzilla.Instead they should have renamed it "Power Rangers/X-men featuring a Giant Radioactive Iguana" Of course the title would be retardedly long but that would've made more sense! Why? Because this is how the movie pretty much goes:
-Monsters attack the world(excluding Godzilla...where is he btw?)
-Humans & Power Rangers/Mutants/Ihavenoideawhattheyareandhowthehecktheydothatpeople fight against monsters to drive them back.(Still no Godzilla...)
-Aliens called Xiliens(I'm not joking...) seemingly eliminate monsters and propose a truce with the humans.(Where the heck is Carmen Sandiag- I mean Godzilla?!)
-Humans find out Xiliens are bad and the aliens go whacko by sending out all the monsters they 'eliminated' earlier to destroy the earth. (So....this is a Godzilla movie right?)

And this is pretty much half of the movie already. By then I was pretty much fed up and going to change the channel when one of the main characters started speaking about Godzilla (He probably sensed me reaching for the remote...)

So the reason why ol Gawdyzilly didn't appear in the first half of the movie was because the humans apparently managed to seal the big guy up somewhere in Antarctica or somewhere around there(I didn't care...all I wanted was to see Godzilla.) .So apparently humanity lost to the Alien Invaders(I refuse to use the word 'Xiliens' anymore as it sounds pathetic...) and their only hope to win is to unleash Godzilla.

And they did.

The humans go all the way to Antarctica and broke Godzilla free from his icy prison.



*ahem* Sorry about that. Anyways Godzilla is freed and he comes out mad as heck. And the movie pretty much continues on with the formula:
-Human's spaceship past through screen
-Godzilla walks in
-Evil Monster attacks Godzilla (Why the heck didn't they attack the human ship?!)
-Godzilla goes all mad and kicks ass
-Alien Overlord gets pissed and goes monkeys
-Rinse and repeat

And that goes on and on until the end of the movie.WAIT...did Godzilla just play soccer?



..........

...my childhood died....

.........

Yeah....after that nutjob scene the movie pretty much ends with Godzilla killing the alien's strongest monster and the humans defeating the aliens themselves (ripping off matrix and dragonball at the same time). And that pretty much sums up the whole movie. That is Godzilla Final Wars,giving me the impression that Godzilla changed from menacing bad ass unstoppable monster to humanity's pokemon (with Hyper Beam spammage). True that this show is meant for kids,but as a kid I remember Godzilla with a more serious tone and I liked it sooo much better that way.This film on the other hand felt.....wrong is so many ways.



Very...very wrong...that's Godzilla's child btw.May it haunt your dreams as it did to mine. D8 Now if you'll excuse me, I'll head back to hit the physics books praying to the Lord that it'll kick out those bad movie memories...